August 2006
Monthly Archive
General29 Aug 2006 01:02 pm
Do You Want To Know How Monogamy Came To Be?
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In the Hebrew Bible, there is a clear distinction between a love relationship and a marriage arrangement. Love relationships are depicted, over all, as the blinding-revealing passion for someone who is the object of the individual s attention. For example, Yaakov s passion for Rachel (B reshith 29). King David s lustful desire for Batsheva (Sh muel Bet 11-12). Samson s love for D leelah, the dominatrix of the Hebrew Bible (Shofetim 16). Just to name a few. A marriage arrangement requires that the one s married to each other fulfill the ethical and moral legal obligations that are binding upon them under the laws prescribed within the community. Further, love between the ones married to each other is not guaranteed. Divorce is probable, and arrangements for that are legally prescribed in both the Torah and the Talmud. Marital strife is likely to occur due to differences in individual needs or unpredictable circumstances, and must be weathered through by adherence to the marital obligations. Love can flourish between the married partners, and this is the “ideal” if the individuals work together through the struggles and keeping the obligations to nurture its continued existence in the marriage.
In the Hebrew Bible, all aspects dealing with the legal institution of marriage express polygamy. So, too, do all the narratives on the marriage lives of people; with what may appear to be the rare exception of a few. But, the Torah rarely, if ever, gives full disclosure on the personal lives of its legendary people. It has selective memory, and midrash of later generations have had to fill in areas not covered. If we were to stretch scripture a little, and interpret that some marriages were intentionally portrayed as monogamous, all this really shows us is two possibilities. The first, is that some men were likely to take only one wife; and/or two, that some should limit themselves to a lesser number. All aspects dealing with what can be described as a monogamous relationship within the Hebrew Bible deal with the love affair situation of a biblical patriarch and a woman (not always a Hebrew matriarch). Kept in its context, the Hebrew Bible presents the cultural marriage arrangement of its time polygamy. It even legally defines proper marriage behavior for the husband who is married to more than one wife (D’varim 21.15-17). And, in typical Hebrew teaching style, the polygamist marriage narratives teach us that relationships are a struggle between individual needs. And, that the obligations laws, commandments, rules of being legally married to each other requires that these struggles be worked out within the marriage. Great lengths of creativity within the marriages of biblical times were taken to accomplish this.
The “idea” that the Torah encourages monogamy by showing all the struggles happening in the polygamist relationships is a later midrashic interpretation of the Common Era Palestinian Jews*. [*See footnote below.] The Jews of the intertestimal times (the 700 year period between the writing of the Jewish scrolls, now known as the TaNaKH, and the writings of the Greek New Testament by the Greco-Roman Christians of the Diaspora). And, for only about a thousand years, has it been upheld through cultural law as the ideal within most Jewish communities, and more specifically the Ashkenazic community of Old Europe. The rabbis of the intertestimal period took the TaNaKH scriptures out of their context and applied new meanings to them to deal with the present problems occurring within the overran, hellenistically influenced Yisrael. The old ways and the reasons for these ways were no longer being followed enthusiastically, and new ways were needed to keep the integrity of the Hebrew teachings.
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Hence, the new law that appeared in the Damascus Document* scroll of intertestimal times that limits marriage to one husband and one wife. The Damascus scroll gives a new definition to what is considered the act of fornication. It specifically states that fornication, a sexual sin, is the taking of more than one wife in a man s lifetime. The rationale for this definition of fornication is based upon two quotes from legend narratives of the Torah. B reshith 1.27, “So G-d created humankind in his image, in the image of G-d did he create it, male and female he created them” and 7.9, “two and two (each) came to Noah, into the Ark, male and female, as G-d had commanded Noah.” Both scriptures were taken out of their context and have nothing to do with the Moshaic laws regarding marriage. And, one quote from D’varim 17.17 that speaks of the King of Yisrael, that he is not to “multiply wives for himself.” (A translation of the Damascus Document is available in The Dead Sea Scrolls, A New Translation.) [*See footnote below.]
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This latter biblical injunction does not restrict the King to one wife only, but instructs him not to create a harem for himself, so that his attention remains on his duties as King. The King is also told in this same passage of scripture not to “multiply horses for himself,” “not to return the people to Egypt in order to multiply horses,” and that “silver and gold he is not to multiply for himself to excess.” Neither of these injunctions say that the King is restricted to owning only one horse and possessing one piece of silver or gold. The D varim passage cited as validation by the first intertestimal adherents to monogamy is dealing with political-trade transactions of the King. Later tradition has ascribed B reshith 2.24 and Mishlei 31 as further justification that the ancient Jews intended for us to form monogamous marriages. Again, scripture is taken out of context to justify a fundamentalist view. With the passage of Mishlei, it is expressing the ideal wife and likens her to Shechinah, which is thefeminine image of G-d, the Hebrew G-ddess. It does not make the slightest suggestion concerning the number of wives a man is to have. To say that the Bible supports a bias towards (or against) something that it clearly does not is simply wrong to do. And, this kind of interpreting leads to injustice.
There are four types of marital arrangements (only one that is civilly legal in America): polyandry, polygamy, monogamy, and polyamory. Polyandry is a marriage arrangement between a wife and two or more husbands. Polygamy is a marriage arrangement between a husband and two or more wives. Monogamy is a marriage arrangement between one husband and one wife. Polyamory is a marriage arrangement between two or more husbands and/or two or more wives. The Torah makes no distinction on which type of legal marriage arrangement is more preferable than the others. Instead, it only encourages that through marriage the struggles of relationship be dealt with, and that the expression of love be realized. Just as it is realized through the marital struggles between G-d and the People of Yisrael. “Now you are to love YHWH your G-d with all your heart, with all your being, with all your substance!” (D varim 6.5). We do this by faithfully fulfilling the obligations of this community marriage relationship with G-d. So it mustbe in our human marriage relationships the Torah teaches us.
Monogamy is not threatened by society allowing citizens the legal right to choose other types of marriage arrangements, and to be held accountable for these marriages. For those who idealize monogamy as the way to go, the simple bottom-line fact-of-reality is that there is only one threat to the success and survival of monogamous relationships. This real threat comes from within the homes of the couples that choose a monogamous marriage arrangement, and this threat is not keeping the vows made when getting married and not working together to mutually meet each other’s needs. The threat of infidelity is not basing the marriage on clearly defined obligations to begin with. Banning the legal right to form other types of marriage arrangements will not change this. And, it will not prevent people from forming polygamous, polyandrous, and polyamorous relationships - regardless whether they are legally sanctioned by society or not.
The issue in the Hebrew Bible is about getting married, not about what marriage form is “right.” Its focus is on fulfilling the obligations that come with marriage, whether there is love between the married partners or not. When maintained in this manner, the relationship is in kedusha, a state of holiness. And, this benefits the community, by providing a strong family-oriented foundation to build from. How can a marriage relationship whether it be polyandry, polygamy, monogamy, or polyamory be less of a struggle and more of a love relationship? The first step is to keep the marital obligations made between each other when committing the act of marriage. Verbally remember and edify the words of this marital agreement often - if possible, on a weekly basis. Sit down together and talk it over.
The next step, which is actually the very first step and must always remain the more important step throughout the marriage is understanding that love is not an object, and thus the degree of love one has for another cannot be controlled. But, we do have the power within us to control how we will relate to to each other in our relationships. And, we have the power to decide whether we will be fidelitous or not. In other words, by defining together the obligations of the marriage, by living by them throughout the marriage (being conscious of these obligations on a daily basis) and, through this marriage relationship, by elevating the emotional, sexual, and spiritual needs of our partners-in-marriage. Complete honesty between each other, recognition of the need for individual self-responsibility, and partner encouragement (not coercion) is a must. Fulfill this and this marriage, whatever its type, is a marriage maintained in kedusha/holiness, according to the teachings of the Hebrew Bible.
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Footnote: Just for historical authenticity to the statements made in these * asterisked paragraphs above, the Damascus Document of the Intertestimal period is a product of a specific extremist community sect of Judaism, and is not reflective of Jewish lifestyle in that time period as a whole. In fact the majority of Jewish communities would continue to engage in polygamist marriage relationships well into the Common Era, and even within the Ashkenazic communities this was so. Monogamy was accepted and justified as the ideal by modern Jews only because of the Christian presence around these Jewish communities, meaning Jews conformed to the practices of their neighbors to avoid persecution over this issue. It is through the extremist Jewish document of the Yachad sect that defines monogamous marriages and the monogamous approach to marriages within the Greco-Roman world of the time that Christianity would come to idealize monogamy as the ideal marriage relationship style. Even the Irish, who were the first culture to embrace Christianity outside of the Greco-Roman world, continued to engage in rather promiscious relationship styles - styles that included group sexual relationships and marriages. It would not be until the arrival of the “White” people into Europe and their subsequent embracement of Christianity that monogamy would be institutionalized as the only correct form of marriage. Some estimates have it that monogamy finally took root about a good thousand years after the Damascus Document had been written. And, still today, not all societies are convinced that it really is the most moral form of forming relationships.
About the Author
Joseph Farkasdi is a fictional writer and social commentator. His online expressions range from the sharing of deeply opinionated thoughts on life, love, and relationships to the ever stirring wild and sometimes wet erotic fantasies that stretch one’s secret imaginations. His photographic works are as revealing and shameless as his willingness to share all without inhibition. You can view his web site by clicking on http://www.jfarkasdi.org/ .
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General26 Aug 2006 01:01 pm
Make A Difference: Boycott Wal-Mart
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For the everyday individual, companies like Wal-Mart have been a source of great deals, where goods can be purchased at a relatively inexpensive sum. These companies preach never-ending low costs for the benefit of the consumer. Most of us have taken that as face value, resulting in hundreds of billions of dollars of revenue annually. Wal-Mart in particular has been one of the major beneficiaries of your hard earned dollar. They promote themselves as being concerned about the family, about customer server. Recent events however, have caused us to look a little more deeply into this chain of stores. Many of us have already heard about their North American corporate practices. They have responded to charges of forced overtime, pay inequity, unsafe working conditions with the usual corporate schpeal of having to better train their management staff. The average person has either accepted it, or simply chosen to ignore it, preferring to worry about the drama of their own lives. But that is not the end of this story. Wal-Mart recently decided to close down the first and only unionized store to date, sighting loss of profitability.
If a store like Walmart, who routinely subcontracts their manufacturing to companies that pays their employees much less than minimum wage, cannot make a profit in a unionized environment in North America, than what it that saying for the rest of the companies out there? Wal-Mart is not only in the business of providing low costs on merchandise, but in human labour as well. While they are not the only ones doing it, they are the ones that have profited the most by it. What prevents a company that sponsors 7 day a week, 12 + hour shift with NO overtime in the 3rd world from trying to do the same legal equivalent here? This is a company that has made over 9 Billion dollars in 2004.
What does that have to do with the average everyday individual? Plenty. Many jobs in the manufacturing industry are being lost to those same 3rd world countries, because there is no protectionfor the common man. They do not enjoy the same freedoms and opportunities that we do in North America. They cannot just pick up and choose to work elsewhere. They cannot just choose to go back to school and get government loans. They will take, and stay with any job they can get, regardless of their working conditions because there simply are no other alternatives. So when North Americans lose their jobs in that industry, they are forced to work for lower and lower wages, and subsequently their buying power goes down. With a lowering buying power, companies like Wal-Mart make more profit as people seek to stretch their dollar as far as they can.
Old Mom & Pop stores cannot survive anymore either. When they moved out of the city and into the suburbs, Wal-Mart followed. Once the population on the outskirts of a city reach a certain density, you can be sure that there will be a Wal-Mart coming soon. One may even show up quicker on sites with highway access. Wal-Mart s own buying policy is such that small time operations cannot afford to sell to Wal-Mart and make a profit. Small companies cannot survive on the pennies Wal-Mart leaves them, nor can they compete with the chains themselves, so they close down. Since this impacts more than the clothing industry, more people will replace their lost jobs with lower paying ones, and have to rely on stores like Wal-Mart to maintain their own moderate lifestyle.
We are not powerless against this. Alone, we can do nothing. Together, we can change that policy. Wal-Mart will continue to attract customers, that is a fact. But we can make it so that there will only be Mercedes-Benz and BMW s in the parking lot. If we pull together, we can cut enough into Wal-Mart s bottom line for them to make serious changes.
If you are part of a social organization, let them know what we are doing.
If you run a website, put a link to this page.
If you are simply a concerned citizen, Boycott Wal-Mart!
Send the strongest message you can! Companies will not listen to your words, they will listen to your wallet. Only if we change our buying strategy can we get them to listen to us. You can still get great deals at other related companies. The point here is to send a message. Start with the chain that has the most to lose, and the most amount of money to do something significant to change things. The purpose is not to destroy, but to rebuild. Once Wal-Mart changes their policies, the others will follow suit or they will be next. We want to build a new type of Co-Op. A type of Co-Op that can change the world with members of the global community. A Co-Op of average everyday people.
Send A Message: Boycott Wal-Mart
About the Author
Gary Whittaker is the editor of T.E.N Magazine, a sports and social commentary webzine with balls! Check out more articles at http://www.tenwebzine.com
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General24 Aug 2006 01:00 pm
On Dog Bites And Other Dog Injuries (Part 2)
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On Dog Bites And Other Dog Injuries (Part 2)
by: Granny s Mettle
Dog bites are very common injuries for both adults and children. People bitten by a dog can have permanent disfigurement, psychological trauma, and worse, even death. It is therefore necessary to always provide great care when dealing with dogs, even those that are considered as pets.
Precautionary measures are provided by experts and medical practitioners to avoid getting bitten. However, when one gets dog bites, one should know his/her rights, especially when it comes to recovering damages.
If you or a family is bitten by a dog, you should:
- try to identify the dog. If the dog has rabies, it is important that you should seek medical care and get the appropriate vaccines against the rabies.
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- not argue with the owner of the dog. Arguing won’t do any good, especially when the owner doesn’t want to believe what happened. Many owners believe in the goodness of their pets that’s why it’s hard for them to accept that their dog would bite without severe provocation.
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- not sign any papers or make statements on record. The dog owner, property owner or their insurance company might try to get you to sign papers or record your statements on tape. Take note that their primary goal is to get you to make statements that will help in their cause to avoid possible liabilities for your injuries. If this happens, you should consider having a lawyer present to assist you.
- make a report to the police. Report the incident to the police and they will investigate the circumstances of the dog bite. They will then provide a report that may help establish the incident.
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- seek medical care. The dog that bit you may have rabies. In that case, you will need appropriate vaccines to counter the effects of rabies. On the other hand, dog bites involve puncture wounds from fangs. These can be easily infected. Also, you may have scrapes and abrasions from protecting yourself during the attack. An infected wound can result in a worse scar, and even serious complications and consequences.
- consider consulting a lawyer. A reliable lawyer can help you get back your financial losses as well as the emotional and psychological effects from the injuries caused by the incident. Even if the insurance company offers to give you payment, it helps to have a lawyer review the proposed settlement. A lawyer you can trust can help you obtain a fair outcome.
The Law
Different laws on dog bite injuries are provided in different states. In Michigan, victims of dog bites can easily establish liability on the part of the owner. Under Michigan law, it doesn’t matter if the dog has never bitten another person. There is no “free bite rule”. Dog owners are liable even if it’s the first time that they’re dogs bit somebody.
On the other hand, people may also be injured even without getting bitten by a dog. An attack may cause injury through the dog’s claws, when the person was knock over, or when the driver of a bicycle was upset by a dog. If injured, these individuals may file claims, and recover damages from the dog’s owner.
Check your state’s law for information on dog bites.
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About The Author
Granny’s Mettle is a 30-something, professional web content writer. She has created various web content on a diverse range of topics, which includes digital printing topics, medical news, as well as legal issues. Her articles are composed of reviews, suggestions, tips and more for the printing and designing industry.
Her thoughts on writing: “Writing gives me pleasure pleasure and excitement that you have created something to share with others. And with the wide world of the Internet, it gives me great satisfaction that my articles reach more people in the quickest time you could imagine.”
On her spare time, she loves to stay at home, reading books on just about any topic she fancies, cooking a great meal, and taking care of her husband and kids.
For additional information and comments about the article you may log on to http://www.personalinjurydefenders.com
contactus@personalinjurylawyersinc.com
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General21 Aug 2006 01:00 pm
Religious Discrimination Tougher To Prove Than Race Or Sex Discriminaion In New Jersey
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Religious Discrimination Tougher To Prove Than Race Or Sex Discriminaion In New Jersey
by: Jonathan Meyers
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New Jersey state courts are notoriously indulgent to plaintiffs claiming sexual or racial discrimination and will almost never dismiss a sex or race based discrimination case, no matter how meritless. The New Jersey Supreme Court has held that the state anti-discrimination statute (the NJLAD ) is not meant to be a civility code and was not enacted to combat words that are merely discourteous or rude. Instead, it is only supposed to apply to genuine acts of discrimination where an employee is singled out for bad treatment due to his or her race, gender or religion. Moreover, in cases where the employee/plaintiff has not been terminated, and instead claims to have been subjected to a hostile work environment, the plaintiff is required to prove a pattern of improperly-motivated acts (such as sexual comments, racial slurs or jokes) that are so severe or pervasive in the workplace that they alter the conditions of employment. The logic behind this sentiment makes sense, however, subsequent Supreme Court and Appellate Division decisions seem to have ignored these principles in practice and effectively nullified them.
For example in Taylor v. Metzger, 152 N.J. 490 (1998), the State Supreme Court held that a single patently racist slur spoken by a supervisor to a subordinate was enough to warrant a trial for a hostile work environment case. In the wake of Taylor, trial courts in New Jersey have been increasingly reluctant to throw hostile work environment cases out of court where an employee/plaintiff only alleges that they were subjected to just a few (or even one) racial or sexual comment. Without the ability to nip cases based upon arguable trivialities in the bud on a summary judgment motion, employers are increasingly faced with the prospect of having to defend cases of little or no ultimate value all the way to trial in order to prevail. The high costs of trial can turn these nuisance cases into expensive undertakings.
One area, however, where the State Courts are still willing to grant summary judgment, in the absence of real evidence of discrimination, is religion. In Mandel v. UBS/PainWebber, Inc., 373 N.J. Super. 55 (2004), the Appellate Division affirmed the grant of summary judgment against two plaintiffs who alleged a religiously hostile work environment. One plaintiff alleged that a supervisor made the following remark about a fantasy football league being conducted in the office: This is the gentiles versus the Jews and the plaque should never hang in anybody s office that doesn t celebrate Christmas. The other plaintiff said that she was referred to as a Jew b**ch on one occasion, although the plaintiff was not present when the phrase was uttered and did not learn about it until after she quit to take a job elsewhere.
In Mandel, both plaintiffs left to take other jobs that paid similarly to the ones they left. In addition, the comments that were allegedly made were isolated and clearly were not so severe or pervasive so as to alter the conditions of the plaintiffs employment. The Mandel Court cited to Heitzman v. Monmouth County, 321 N.J. Super. 133 for an example of what a religiously hostile work environment really is namely one in which the harassing conduct is truly substanial (Heitzman s boss made repeated inquiries into what Heitzman was doing on Friday nights, his dietary restrictions, made comments about a country club that excluded Jews, commented on a Jewish mile , and called Hietzman s vacation destination the Jewish Alps, among other comments).
The Mandel court got it right and correctly dismissed a suit in which there just was no real evidence that the employees were actually the victims of a continuing pattern of discrimination that transformed their working environment into a hostile one rather were only demonstrated that there were one or two stray comments. The Mandel court, however, did note that under Taylor, an employee s allegation of a single racial comment would normally preclude granting summary judgment. The rationale is that a single racial comment can evoke centuries of cruelty and discrimination, such as when the N word is directed toward an Africn-American. As for gender or sex related comments, it is unclear as to whether or not a plaintiff s allegation of a single offensive remark will be sufficient to preclude an employer from obtaining summary judgment and avoiding trial.
Thus, following Mandel, Heitzman and Taylor, the following sliding scale can be applied to predict the likely behavior the New Jersey State Courts when faced with different types of hostile work environment cases:
1. Nearly every case in which a plaintiff alleges that a patently offensive racial slur was directed towards him will overcome summary judgment and go to trial (even if it is only a single comment).
2. Where a plaintiff alleges to be the victim of a religiously hostile work environment, he will need actual evidence of a true pattern. Allegations of isolated or sporadic comments will be unlikely to warrant a trial.
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3. Where a plaintiff alleges to been subjected to a sexually hostile work environment, the behavior of New Jersey s courts cannot be predicted. More conservative judges will likely dismiss cases that seem to be based on infrequent or trivial bases. More permissive judges should still be able to let virtually any plaintiff get to trial.
© 2005, Jonathan Meyers, Esq.
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About The Author
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Jonathan Meyers, Esq. is an employment litigation associate with the law firm of Grotta Glassman & Hoffman, P.C., a law firm whose practice is limited to representing management in employment and labor related matters. He is an experienced trial and appellate advocate.
Contact:
meyersj@gghlaw.com
http://www.gghlaw.com/meyers.htm
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General21 Aug 2006 01:00 pm
Distance Learning: How To Work And Study At The Same Time
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Distance Learning: How To Work And Study At The Same Time
by: Rose Musyoka
Distance learning students seem to enjoy the best of everything. They get their education without actually needing to attend classes, and at the same time are able to keep their jobs and get a paycheck. In fact, this is one of the more prominent distance learning benefits that attract many students to make this their choice of education. In addition to that, distance learning students also gain the advantage of flexibility where they are able to study at their own pace without adhering to class schedules.
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However, amidst these perks, distance learning requires a lot of discipline and motivation from students. When we are juggling between a job and studies, it is very easy to lose track of our priorities and fail to keep up to mark. Moreover, distance learning students do not have the advantage of getting their learning drive renewed whenever they interact with lecturers or peers in classes.
Therefore, how can distance learning students then overcome this challenge? The first thing that a student must have is good time management. Everyone has 24 hours and it is up to us to utilize our time in the best way possible. Set up a daily or weekly plan for yourself and ensure that you set aside time for your studies daily. If you have a family, let them know about your schedule so that they know when you should not be disturbed. Divide your time appropriately between your work, your family and your studies. Of course, discipline is important here as any schedule will not do any good if it is not followed.
Getting yourself motivated is also essential towards distance learning success. One of the ways to do this is to stay in contact with your classmates. With the internet today, it is often easy to stay in touch through email, instant messenger as well as internet phone. Discussing projects or assignments with your teammates will help you stay on track and keeps you and your teammates accountable for one another.
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Setting goals and rewarding yourself when you attain them are great self-motivating habits. Start by drawing a chart on the milestones that you need to reach in order to complete your course. Strike out each goal as you complete them and reward yourself accordingly. There is a certain satisfaction whenever we see ourselves progressing and this becomes a motivating force for us to face the next hurdle.
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Additionally, it is ever essential for a distance learning student to set up a quiet place for study away from home life distractions, such as the television, phone calls or other family members. Organize an off-limits study area or lock yourself in a quiet room to ensure optimum focus. Apart from that, a good chair, a strong table and adequate space are also essential elements in creating a conducive environment.
Finally, although distance learning is a great and effective learning concept, much of its effectiveness is dependent on the habits and determination of the individual. The full advantages of distance learning can only be gained through hard work, discipline and determination for success.
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General20 Aug 2006 01:02 pm
Why Ray Williams is still my hero
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We wouldn t be able to do any of the stuff we do with kids if it
wasn t for the support we get from local business people in our
community. This is not a shameless plug for our sponsors, just
recognition of the fact that whatever we ve been able to achieve
in Dulwich Hill has been a team effort between church and
community.
People often ask me, “I suppose the church pays for all this, do
they”. I tell them straight, that our little church in Dulwich
Hill has never been able to properly afford even the minimum wage
for their priest, and that the Church with a capital C (ie. the
Anglican Diocese of Sydney) has contributed next to nothing. No.
Almost all our support comes from the three local pubs - the
Gladstone, the Royal Exchange, and the Henson Park Hotel - and
from the local RSL club (Petersham). The rest of it we pick up
through the Christians vs. Lions fight nights we put on, and
through other community events (eg. the Mayor s golf day, the
annual community Street Fair, etc.).
It wasn t always this easy. In the early years we really
struggled to keep the Youth Centre open. Then we caught the
attention of one corporate benefactor, who was able to keep us
going long enough for us to put the other support in place. That
benefactor was Ray Williams, former chief executive of HIH
insurance - one of the most gentle, caring, and humble men I have
ever met, and currently one of the least popular men in the
country.
It amazes me when I think about it. Some of the best people I
have ever met are people with terrible reputations. In each case
of course their reputations have been largely media-generated.
When my mate Jim got shot, one of the major Sydney newspapers ran
story entitled “Evil Villain Gunned Down”. It featured a picture
of Jim carrying an automatic weapon. The picture had been taken
many years earlier during Jim s time with the Australian Army. I
thought You bastards! That s not the man I know.
When Morde was on trail in Israel I read a variety of articles
that spoke about him as being a sophisticated spy - working for
the Arabs and out to destroy his country. I thought You
bastards! You have no idea who you are talking about.
Now I read stories about Ray - about how he manipulated the
market to line his own pockets and how he deliberately defrauded
millions of people, and I think again You bastards .
Ray was sent by God to help us. I have no doubt about that. I
first met him through a fight I took, though Ray himself was no
fan of boxing.
The story of that fight was in itself quite bizarre.
I had been sitting with the Archdeacon in my office one
afternoon. He was wagging his finger at me and telling me that
I d have to close down the Youth Centre. “You just don t have
enough money to keep it going” he said. And he was right. We were
exactly $1000 short of being able to pay our youth worker s wage
for the next month. I was feeling rather nonchalant about it all
and was telling him to have more faith. At exactly that moment
Kon, my trainer, came to the door.
“Dave, do you want to take a pro fight?” he asked. “No” was my
knee-jerk reaction. I d just completed my fight career (I d
thought) with a shot at the NSW super-welterweight title in
kickboxing. The law in this state at the time was that you had to
hang up your gloves when you turned 35. I was 34 and nine months
at that stage. “How much are they offering?” I asked Kon. “$1000″
he said. I told him I d take it. We raised close to $50,000 for
the Youth Centre through that fight. More than half of that money
came through Ray.
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A guy by the name of Jeff Wells wrote an article about my fight
that was published in the Sydney Morning Herald one Saturday.
After that, cheques for as much as $1000 started arriving in the
mail! Then one morning a courier turned up with two cheques - one
for $10,000 in the name of HIH insurance, and another for $15,000
in the name of a Mr R. Williams. I remember trembling when I
received these cheques. I d never seen that much money before in
my life.
I had never heard of Ray Williams, but his business card was
attached, so I rang the number and got one of those classic
receptionist voices, saying “Mr Williams is busy at the moment.
Can I take a message?” Then I mentioned my name and all of a
sudden I was speaking to Ray.
“Ah … hi … do I know you?” I started. “No. I don t think so,”
he said. “You ve just sent me cheques for $25,000″ I said. “Yes”
he said. “Um … are you a local from around here? Have you been
watching our work?” I asked. “No” he said. “Well … are you
connected with the church or with youth work around here?” “No”
he said. “Well … are you a fight fan?” I asked, scratching for
some point of connection. “Not at all” he said. “I read an
article about you in the Herald and it looked like you needed
some help.” “Yeah, I do” I said. “Well, will that help?” he
asked. “Oh yeah” I said, “that ll help.”
That s how our relationship began. Over the years that followed
Ray took a keen interest in our work. As things at HIH became
tighter, we didn t receive any further support from the company,
but Ray himself would generally turn up to our fundraiser fight
nights, and he wouldn t leave before slipping us a cheque from
out of his own funds. It s what kept us going while we searched
for more stable sponsorship from the local community. We owe a
lot to Ray.
And it wasn t just the money. It was the man too. He was
inspiring in his humility.
At the time of the first donation we had a guy in our church who
worked as one of the chief accountants in the public hospital
system. “Oh yeah” he said to me one Sunday. “If it wasn t for Ray
Williams, half the hospitals in Sydney might be closed.” And then
he added “but he never likes to have his name mentioned. He hates
the limelight”
We found this to be entirely true. We managed to get him on stage
once to present a trophy to one of our fighters, but it was a
tough job. He really hated being at the centre of attention. It s
one of the things that makes this Royal Commission so odious to
him.
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I still can t believe the way the media have gone after him -
vigorously attacking him for his generosity to hospitals and
charities. It s not as if he was giving away money that should
have gone to insurance claimants. If he hadn t given it away, I
guess it would have slightly increased the dividend paid to the
shareholders, and he himself must have been one of the largest
shareholders. I still find it preposterous to think that the
media should have acted so self-righteously indignant about the
fact that the poor shareholders were losing potential income
because it had gone to the children s hospital. It s just
ridiculous.
But it wasn t only the media that crucified Ray. Once the news
about HIH s collapse became public knowledge, former colleagues
deserted him, old friends and associates turned their backs on
him, and charities that he d been supporting for years all of a
sudden didn t want to know him. Ray had been on the board of the
Children s Hospital for as long as anybody could remember. They
sent him a letter saying thank you but your services are no
longer required . Nobody waited for the results of the Royal
Commission. Nobody waited to see if perhaps he wasn t the real
villain in the piece. Everyone distanced themselves, not wanting
their own reputations to be tarnished.
At this point of time, I’m like a doubting Thomas regarding the productiveness of this report.
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I seriously can t understand that attitude. I know I m capable of
doing some stupid and selfish things, but deserting a mate in his
time of need is not one of them. When I think about all the
people that Ray must have helped over the years, I just can t
believe that none of them thought to ring him up and say How are
you going, Ray. Perhaps it s my turn to give you some support?
Anyway, my point here is not to spit my dummy. And I ll be the
first to admit that I don t have a clue about big business,
insurance laws, or anything of the sort. But I know a good man
when I meet one, and Ray Williams is a good man and someone whom
I m proud to call my friend. And I ll be buggered if I m going
stand by and listen to people pouring crap out on a mate of mine
without saying anything.
To be truthful, I don t expect that Ray will ever fully regain
his former reputation or standing. I know too much about how the
media works and about how our court system works to ever expect
real justice. As with my friends Jim and Morde, I m not holding
my breath waiting for the truth to come out. No. I ll look to the
day when the kingdom of this world will become the kingdom of our
Lord and Christ. When that day comes, all the crap will be sorted
out.
About the Author
‘Fighting’ Father Dave Smith - Parish Priest, community worker,professional fighter, father of three. Dave is the only Australian in Holy Orders to turn pro boxer to help fund his work. He is Parish Priest in Dulwich Hill, Sydney,and has received numerous awards for his work with young people
Get a free preview of his book, ‘Sex, the Ring & the Eucharist’ when you sign up for Dave’s newsletter at www.fatherdave.org
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General16 Aug 2006 01:02 pm
Handle Stress Like A Monk
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Firstly, let’s define Stress.
Stress is defined simply as ‘Change’.
Any kind of change. Be it nvironmental, Physical, Emotional or Social - Good or Bad. As human beings we are naturally resistant to any type of change. So the
prospect of anything in our well-defined lives changing, puts our bodies on ‘Full Alert’.
Between the ages of birth and 6 years old, we lay down our jigsaw puzzle of life. Our subconscious minds carve
out a plan of what is acceptable, believable, achievable and realistic. From learning that putting your hand on
the red circle on the stove is sore, to associating a raised voice with a deed deemed to be unacceptable.
This is the subconscious laying out the set of rules that determines survival. If you want to not only survive, but function well in the world, these are the rules you have to live by.
Good girls don’t do that…, boys don’t cry…, don’t mix with them they’re not our class etc etc.
Thus starts the process of Stress. The subconscious will hold onto its ‘Survival Jigsaw’ against tremendous opposition. The moment it perceives change, the defenses go up.
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It is a proven fact that some of us handle Stress better than others. About 10% of the population actually has
a lowered capability of adjusting to change, and seeing it as a welcome challenge. The chemical imbalance in
their brain causes them to be acutely aware of, and sensitive to, change. The results are Depression, Insomnia, Irritability, PMS amongst others.
We all know that the power of our thoughts, has the ability to influence our physiology. ‘As you think, so shall you be’.
One of the most profound secrets to enable you to stop fighting change and learning to relish it, is our ‘Attitude’.
Instead of seeing a potential change as a threat, learn to welcome the prospect of a challenge as a wonderful learning tool.
Stop! Analyze the event and see the wood for the trees.
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So often we get caught up in emotion and this blinds us from seeing what is actually going on. We get so wrapped up in the ‘drama’ of the situation that we
make the situation appear much more complicated than it actually is.
A wonderful set of techniques I use to get through stressful situations are:
-Take a deep breath,
-Separate yourself from the situation (look down on it as if you’re flying),
-Sift through the emotions you’re feeling and see if you are dramatizing them,
-Get to the root of why you’re feeling that way and what is actually happening,
-Seeing if you really have any reason to be feeling as apprehensive as you do,
-Picture the desirable outcome of getting through the change, well,
-Pray to God that He will give you the strength to get through the change, Brilliantly!
-Change your attitude to one of faith in God, faith in yourself and your abilities, and a gratefulness
for all that you will learn from this experience.
Follow these steps whenever you’re faced with a stressful situation. See how clearing away the ‘emotional fog’, helps you to resolve the situation
quickly and easily. It enables you to handle the stress and even look forward to the challenge of getting to the other side.
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Namaste
Lisa van den Berg
About the Author
Lisa van den Berg is the author of Alleviate-Stress - How to WIN at the Game of Life! She also publishes a weekly e-zine ‘Empower Your Life!’ that’s filled with tips and techniques that will help you live the Life you deserve. Subscribe now at http://www.thealternativerookie.com !
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General12 Aug 2006 01:00 pm
Divorce Online Sevice. Why Should We Lose Money And Time Applying For Divorce?
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Divorce Online Sevice. Why Should We Lose Money And Time Applying For Divorce?
by: James Wood
Attempts to use the worldwide Web as an effective means of struggle against bureaucracy are undertaken constantly and sometimes successfully. Today it is possible to fill in a tax declaration, apply for bankruptcy or to receive a legal consultation. And lately there are sites offering online divorce services.
It is usually easier to marry than to divorce, especially if the spouses who wish to do so must divide their common property as well.
Divorce is extremely difficult business in rich families. For wealthy Americans in this case, it is accepted that the former husband or wife may pay rather large sums of money for the divorce process. It is not enough that the divorce in itself involves strong emotional stress, so they also pay an extra thousand on top of the $10-20,000 to lawyers to carry out this occupation, and sometimes it is even more.
Why should we lose the money and time applying for divorce, if there is the cheap and fast alternative - divorce online. You find the site, take your mouse, you press on the button - and you are a divorced person. With a minimum of formalities, as in Las Vegas, for the conclusion of a failed marriage appears the divorce.
To terminate a marriage on site, a couple wanting to apply for divorce need only a credit card and a computer with access to the Internet. The divorce case was finished within 30 minutes and cost $199.
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People who hate discussing and relaying specific instances in dialogues with lawyers use the services of the site. In the virtual world of divorce, the couple that does not require court, after inputting all necessary data for divorce, merely prints the forms, signs them, and sends them to the judge. That is all.
The high cost of lawyers has not forced people to refuse divorce. The deep reasons for divorce lie in the emotional - sensual sphere. The most painful and unpleasant situation is dialogue with a third party hired to engage in and bear your personal problems in general divorce discussion.
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The founder and head of a company like Legalhelper.org that supplies online documents for divorce disagrees with the opinion of opponents that cheap divorce can minimize the importance of divorce. It is true that the divorce will cost them only $199 but this will not push the majority of people to end less-considered marriages faster and more often. Similarly, the high cost of lawyers has not forced people to refuse divorce. The deep reasons for divorce lie in the emotional - sensual sphere. The most painful and unpleasant situation is dialogue with a third party hired to engage in and bear your personal problems in general discussion.
Note that Legalhelper.net provides an easy-to-use, quick, and economical online method for creating completed legal forms from its site for your uncontested divorce (either no-fault divorce or fault divorce).
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About The Author
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General10 Aug 2006 01:00 pm
Alternative Baby Clothing
This is the report on the ring. To have a clairvoyance , comprehend this article.
Alternative Baby Clothing
by: Mark Freeman
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Whoever coined the phrase that there is nothing new under the sun was clearly not expecting to see the latest trend in clothing for infants and toddlers. The members of the punk rock generation of the 80s are the parents of today and it seems that a good number of them chose to go the way of Peter Pan and simply refused to grow up. That is the only viable explanation for the aforementioned baby clothing trend: alternative baby wear. Parents are now able to dress their little Joeys and Siouxsies in all manner of punk-rock and biker inspired clothing designed to make even the most anti-social and anarchistic parents say, Isn t he a cute little punk?
Available at various specialty shops and a number of online retailers, these clothing items intended for infants and toddlers consist primarily of Tee shirts bearing slogans like If you can read this THE BIB FELL OFF! and Little Punker colored in the requisite blacks, reds, and hot pinks. Many of these articles hail from the UK and are available in the US by mail order only. The panhandling punks of yesteryear must have a bit of cash saved up, however, at a UK site called The Rally Shack the aforementioned bib slogan shirt as well as a hot pink tee adorned with a pattern of skulls and crossbones that might look more fitting donning the chest of John Lydon or Iggy Pop sells for 10.00 (about $18.00 US) and is available in 6, 18, and 24 month sizes. Eighteen bucks is a pretty hefty price for a baby tee that is going to be spit up on and outgrown, but, with the number of these sites in business, there must be a market. A few other offerings follow.
The Kids Window
This UK based site offer US, UK, European, and world versions and sells traditional and alternative baby clothes. Of particular interest are the Jolly Roger skull and crossbones tees, Head Banger tees and hoodies bearing both legends and slogans. Prices range from about 12.00 to 16.99 (about $22.00-$31.00 US). Yes, your 6 month old can wear a hoodie! Just like Eminem!
Lucky L il Devil
This American site has got to be seen to be believed. It offers everything you could want to turn your baby or toddler into a little hoodlum all under one convenient roof. In addition to the rock and pop culture inspired Tee shirts (personal favorites include the Betty Page tee, the Ramones homage tee that reads Hey, Ho, Let s Go, and the disturbingly humorous tee reading 333 Halfway to Hell ), Lucky L il Devil offers full outfits like apron dresses and leggings that bear images like the female silhouette familiar to truckers everywhere and slogan Daddy Drinks Because I Cry. Prices range from $17.00-$18.00 for tee shirts, $34.00-$36.00 for apron dresses, and $17.00 for leggings.
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About The Author
Mark Freeman
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General08 Aug 2006 01:03 pm
Unleash your creativity and think your way out of the box
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Unleash your creativity and think your way out of the box
The brain is a strange organ. It works in ways we don t yet understand and manages to create everything we see. Working at odds with the rest of the body it performs best when we re not consciously trying and it is exactly this right-hemisphere activity that contributes to some of our most creative moments.
Creativity is the lifeblood of every facet of life. From the arts to business, without it, things would become stale very quickly. Yet, as society is becoming more complex and process-driven the struggle for educational institutions is just how to stimulate creativity.
One easy answer is watercolour painting. The gentle movements of a brush have a relaxing, de-stressing effect which has also been noted in activities such as calligraphy, whilst the mix of colours and their application energise parts of the brain which would normally get scant stimulation. Couple this to the mix of a visual/tactile experience as your painting emerges and presto! Right-side thinking is the order of the day and you haven t even thought about it!
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British Management Institute research figures show that whilst engaged in right-side thinking activities stressed-out business executives exhibit the same degree of relaxation and satisfaction that s normally reserved for when they re on holiday.
A study conducted in mixed-occupation classes showed that out of the 85 people who took part 90% reported feeling calmer about life, perceiving the world in a more positive way and feeling better about themselves after they took part in a three-hour long watercolour workshop.
Hugh Templeton, an artist of 25 years experience, who specialises in running such workshops thinks he knows why his classes have that effect: Painting a watercolour is a life-affirming thing. You have an image of the world in your head. You start getting it down on your art paper and before you know it you have captured a piece of the world around you and it s been through your own efforts. What could be more satisfying that that?
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Hugh is the first one to acknowledge that just enrolling in a watercolour class is not enough. It comes down to technique, he explains, watercolour painting, like any kind of painting, is not easy. The danger is that if the instructor is not alert enough to make it easy for those taking part to express themselves and become attuned with their inner vision then their frustration and negative feelings will grow, not go away.
Hugh has made a name for himself precisely because he has spent most of his life developing a teaching technique that teaches the technicalities of watercolour painting almost by stealth. The idea is that when you re painting you should be focusing on the most important element of the equation. Your inner world. That s where your creativity resides. Anything else is a distraction.
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To help promote the principle Hugh has written an interactive theme-driven How-to book on watercolour painting titled Hugh Templeton s Watercolour Guide for Absolute Beginners .
The book was featured in the Times Educational Supplement as a means of helping teachers develop creativity in the classroom and it s been popular with stressed-out executives who have little time to attend classes.
Published by innovative internet publisher Cool Publication (www.coolpublications.com) the book has been one of their best-selling titles from the moment it was published.
It is easy to use. It comes in 25 theme-driven sections and you can start painting effectively from the first chapter, says senior editor Chris Walker, we tried it when Hugh first approached us and even we managed to paint a passable watercolour and we haven t touched anything beyond a computer keyboard for the last thirty years. Hugh Templeton s technique really works, we all forgot we were learning and it was so much fun we felt great for hours afterwards and we tried it out in an editorial meeting!
About the Author
David Amerland is a freelance media editor and journalist with over 20 years’ experience. He is the Associate Editor of Fighting Fit Online magazine and acts as a marketing advisor for publishers and organisations.
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